Parenting – Lifestyle by Jenny

Indoor Toddler Activities Part 2

Hey hey hey! I have gotten several requests for M O R E indoor activites to do with toddlers, so ask and you shall receive! This is a follow up to a previous post, so check that out for more ideas.

Make smoothies together – Emmeline LOVES being in the kitchen. Something we’ve been making a lot of recently is smoothies and smoothie popsicles. We got some popsicle molds as a gift, but they’re available on amazon. We have broken one of them because you have to be extra gentle when taking the popsicle out. What we use to make our smoothie pops varies based on what we have on hand, but we usually use frozen strawberries, spinach, yogurt (usually strawberry flavored), and whatever type of milk we have on hand (usually cashew or oat milk). Sometimes we use orange juice instead of we have it. Smoothies are easy for kids to make, because they can throw it all in the blender and start it almost completely independently.

Rainbow Rhythms – I learned this one at a play therapy training recently and have tried it out with Emmeline. You need a big piece of paper, or cardboard, and some markers. Have your little sit in the middle, and then make arcs around their body, back and forth, using as many colors as they want. Crossing your arms over your heart is naturally rhythmic and calming, so there’s a secondary gain from doing this one.

Sensory Bins – There are a million different ways to do a sensory bin, which is perfect because it’s easy to switch it up. I like using cloud dough, because Emmeline can help make it, and then throwing in a random assortment of toys to play with. I usually set her up next to the kitchen to play while I either clean or cook dinner. If I use cloud dough, the toys usually need to be rinsed after, so Emmeline gives them a bath afterwards! Check out my sensory bin pinterest board for more ideas.

Scavenger Hunt – Draw or write things for your kiddo to find around the house! If they are a little older and you trust them with your phone or a tablet, they can take pictures of what they find. Otherwise, a good old fashioned checkbox works well too!

Paper Tube Monsters – Since we all are apparently stocking up on toilet paper and paper towel because of the corona virus (too soon??), save those tubes to make monsters! You can paint them or staple construction paper onto them, and then use googley eyes, feathers, pipe cleaners, whatever else you have in an arts and crafts bin, and make little monsters! Toddlers love exploring how to use a glue stick, so let them create and explore!

Let me know what activities your littles liked!

Our Not So Relaxing Vacation

We just got home from weekend trip to Minneapolis. Several times during the weekend, my husband and I commented to each other how much more pleasant this trip was compared to our last trip. Our three year old was very well-behaved and we were actually able to relax, more than once if you can believe it.

Several months ago, we took a week-long trip to Portland, Oregon. Once we got back, I posted a poll on my stories asking if people wanted to hear about our not so relaxing vacation, and it was a 100% yes. I had started to write it, but found it kind of a bummer to write. Then work got busy, the holidays came and before I knew it, it was time for another trip.

With this last trip to Minneapolis going so well, I want to start this blog post by saying things do change and get better. And maybe next time we will have more difficulties, but those difficulties will look different than our trip to Portland. So, don’t feel discouraged by my experience or your own experiences. Things will improve!

While we were in Portland, there were two main issues: the time change (two hours behind) and sleep. They are kind of the same issue, but ultimately the time change messed up our sleep schedule, and for some reason, we were never able to remedy this situation. Whenever we travel, we stick to our normal routine as best as we can, meaning we try to stick to normal meal times, quiet time and bedtime routines. We did that, and it did not seem to matter. Emmeline would fight bedtime, usually finally falling asleep around 9pm, which would be 11pm our time, and waking up every. single. morning. at 5am. Then, because she woke up so early, she needed a nap by 9am or 10am. We tried doing naps at the airbnb, but it just wasn’t working. I think she was too distracted by the new environment. We resorted to car naps, and she’d usually sleep for about an hour in the morning. We then usually had an activity planned, and she would need another nap in the afternoon. The cycle would continue; the afternoon nap would throw off her bedtime routine, she’d then be up early and our day would start over. Three days into our vacation we were totally exhausted. Not only was she up early, but she also would be up one or two times every night. It was the most broken sleep we’ve gotten since she was a baby. We decided to take a day trip to Seattle, which is a three hour drive. This is what finally helped fix our sleep issue somewhat. She slept most of the way to Seattle, and then slept most of the way back. Despite having so much sleep during the day, she easily went down for bedtime. I also think she slept until a glorious 6am the next morning. After that, our sleep was overall much better, which helped reduce meltdowns during the day.

Speaking of meltdowns, that was the other thing that made our trip difficult. I feel like we went on vacation during the perfect storm; she was 3 years and 3 months at the time, and behaviorally, she was very challenging. She wanted to do everything by herself, she did not want to listen to rules, she pushed boundaries and just… was a 3 year old. In hindsight, we would not have done such a big trip at this stage. I think it was just too much. Also, we realized we forgot to pack her tablet on the way to the airport, with no time to turn around and grab it. She doesn’t get a ton of tablet time, but it would have been nice to use it as a reward during this trip.

The high of the trip: Going to Oaks Amusement Park and having virtually the place to ourselves; hardly having to wait in lines. Emmeline rode a TON of rides and we all had a blast.

The low of the trip: Emmeline crying and screaming at the top of her lungs in the middle because she had a bad dream (that’s what we pieced together, anyway) and nothing my husband and I did calmed her down, which led to me crying as well.

How we survived: We bribed with WAY more treats and toys than we would have normally (live and learn). We also tried our best to run her down every day so she’d sleep at night. We took her to the park before we went to any restarant. My husband and I took turns watching her so the other could get at least a few quiet moments.

Have you had a bad trip when traveling with kids? Let me know your experience in the comments!

This Working Momma Needed a Staycation

I’m wrapping up two weeks off of work. This is the second year in a row I have taken two weeks off. I’m lucky that I have the availability to do this. Last year, we went to Austin, Texas for a portion of the two weeks. So, this is my first ever two week staycation. The idea of a staycation mostly came from wanting to save money, but it turned out to be the best idea ever.

We decided to keep our daughter on her regular daycare schedule, so for three days each week she was at daycare. This gave me several days to do what I wanted, which is something I don’t think I’ve experienced since having her. To be able to lay on the couch and watch The Office was a dream. I took baths in the middle of the day. I made soup. I went out for day dates with my husband. I went to the gym. I read. I bought new books. I worked on my blog. I started a bullet journal. I was able to actually, fully, relax, which I would not have been able to do if we traveled. In fact, we took a weekend trip to Minneapolis and while we had a blast and Emmeline did great, it was the most stressful time of my staycation. I think it was just navigating a city I’m not familiar with and natural travel stress.

The best part my staycation, hands down, was getting to be a mom. I got to take my girl to gymnastics and to dance class. I did daycare drop offs. I took her to her dentist appointment. We ran errands together and did the grocery shopping. All of these things probably sound boring, or exhausting if you’re a stay at home mom, but they are things I rarely get to do because of my work schedule. My daughter is young but growing so fast. I loved getting to do regular mom things more than anything. These small things together ended up being the time I wanted to freeze the most, and the reason why I think more staycations are in my future.

Thanks for reading! I hope it encourages you to find ways to relax, too.

Emotion Regulation Skills for Toddlers

I want to start this blog post off by saying that I am in no way a perfect parent. I try my best, but sometimes my daughter gets the best of me. Currently it feels like she gets the best of me and my husband all the time. It’s hard to stay patient and calm! We overall try our best and mostly try to make it to bedtime. There recently was a string of days that were just awful. Between her meltdowns and our meltdowns, we got into this vicious cycle of unintentionally rewarding negative behavior and overall feeling defeated. Once we realized the cycle we were in and talked about it, my husband and I were able to refocus and turn things around. We went back to incorporating relaxation skills into our routines and giving ourselves breaks when needed too.

Here are some things we’ve incorporated into our daily or weekly routine in order to build our daughter’s skill set to self-regulate, and when she’s heightened, she’ll know what we’re talking about.

Breathing Exercise

The breathing exercise that Emmeline uses the most is the flower and candle exercise. You hold one finger up and pretend it’s a flower and breathe in through your nose to smell the flower. Then, you then pretend the finger is a candle and breathe out through your mouth to blow out the candle. Repeat several times. We go through this with her when she’s calm, and then prompt her to do it when she’s upset so she can calm down.

Yoga

We’ve introduced yoga a few ways. The first is I’ve done yoga at home and invited Emmeline to do it next to me. It sometimes feels like more work than it’s worth, but most of the time she’ll do some of the moves next to me. Another way we’ve introduced yoga is by doing some youtube videos together. Cosmic Kids Yoga is a great channel on youtube. Lastly, I am trained in play therapy and trauma sensitive yoga, so my daughter and I will sometimes do a small routine that I use with clients. You can check it out on our youtube channel. What’s more important during this “animal game,” as my daughter calls it, is allowing your child the power of choice over ANY yoga move. It’s about letting them choose what they’re going to do with their body. In the video, we actually don’t do a lot of yoga moves, but letting her move in a way that feels good to her is when she’ll likely feel the best.

Books

There are several great books that teach about ways to calm down. Here are a few that we like:

Calm with the Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Dinosaur Yoga by Mariam Gates

Worry Bee by Ann Biese

I’m Feeling Mad Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood by Natalie Shaw

We usually read three books each night and these are in our general rotation. Sometimes, we’ll read one of these after a meltdown to help her regulate.

Let me know if you try any of these! What have you found helps your kiddos calm down?

2020 Beach Reads

I recently finished a book that was so good, I posted about it on my insta stories and it inspired me to create a whole new book list, just so I could list it. Since it takes place during the summer and on an island, it doesn’t match my current Wisconsin aesthetic in January (cold, grey, snowy, blah). So it got me thinking, what book list can I create in January that will fit this book? And then it dawned on me, SO many people go somewhere warm to escape winter. So, whether it’s January and you’re headed to Mexico, or it’s July and you’re going to the lake for the day, this list will fit your book needs.

Here are five books to check out before you hit the beach!

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

This is the book I mentioned above. I loved it and highly recommend it. What happened during summer 15? Find out the truth.

Girls Night Out by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke

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Four friends go on a trip to mend their estranged friendships. But, since they are not honest with each other, the trip goes horribly wrong. Take this on your beach trip this winter, although that may feel too real…

All The Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

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Nicolette returns home and a girl goes missing, just like another girl went missing when Nicolette was in high school. Nicolette tries to figure out what happened. Another thriller but this one is told backwards, which makes it interesting. It keeps the suspense up and is told really well.

Ghosted by Rosie Walsh

Sarah meets Eddie and they instantly fall in love. But then he doesn’t call when he said he would. Why does he disappear?

Bunny by Mona Awad

A story about a woman who makes a new group of female friends and goes further and further down their rabbit hole, if you will. A great book about the female experience.

Of course, no beach is actually required for any of these. I have no beach trips scheduled until probably June and have enjoyed these underneath blankets on my coach.

What is your favorite beach read? Let me know in the comments.

5 Elf on the Shelf Ideas for Toddlers

It’s that time of year again! Yep, the time where every night you’re ready to go to bed and then remember, oh yeah… that elf. If you’re anything like me, you have all of these great thoughts and ideas, but are too busy to actually plan for them. It basically leaves me scrambling to be creative before bedtime. Well, I have 5 simple elf ideas to help you for those nights you’re in a pinch.

Playing with toys – this is my go to whenever I can’t think of anything. I just dig around her toys and put a scene together. Simple and doesn’t require any planning – a win win for me.

Roasting marshmallows – I don’t know why, since we never really eat marshmallows, but I seem to always have a few in a bag in the back of the pantry. You could also use cotton balls!

Tangled up in dental floss – who doesn’t have floss from the dentist laying around? Now you can finally put it to use!

Cooking breakfast – If you still have some Halloween candy, throw some in either your play kitchen set or I’ve seen elves on the actual stove.

Climbing the curtains – super easy and still looks like your elf was up to something!

Ultimately, your kid won’t even know if you don’t have the most creative and intricate elf on the shelf idea ever. They’re likely going to be excited no matter what your elf does! I also think if you’re excited about the elf and whatever the elf is doing, your kid is likely to feed off of your energy and be excited to!

Good luck with those elves!

Diverse Toys for Toddlers

When I was in undergrad, I minored in African American studies. I got into this minor for two reasons. First, I love African American literature, especially Toni Morrison. Also, due to not being able to get into a core class for my major for a year (I swear this has to be a conspiracy so you spend more money), I had basically a whole year to fill. So I picked up this minor and in one of classes, my professor talked about how important it is to fill children’s toy boxes with a diverse toy selection, so that when they engage in imaginative play, their world is diverse. And since imaginative play is a part of our development as children, it makes sense that introducing this early helps raise tolerant and, to be fully 2019, woke little humans.

This is something I try to do with Emmeline, who is 3. And I have to admit, if I’m not paying attention, we suddenly have 10 white Barbies and 1 African American Barbie. With the holidays coming up, I thought I’d put together some different options for diversifying your play room! Also, I realized while writing this that I am not as familiar with traditionally “boy” toys or shows, and a lot of what I included is based off of my daughter’s likes. I tried doing some research, but it seems like there is less diversity amongst action figures and other traditional “boy” toys. With that being said, playing with dolls is important for all genders, so please don’t shy away from this list! I would also love to hear your feedback on other multicultural toys, as this is not an all-inclusive list.

Barbies

I know a lot of people have thoughts on Barbies, but my daughter LOVES them, and I loved playing with them when I was young too. What’s important to me now as a parent is gathering as much diversity as I can for my daughter’s collection. Thankfully Barbie is working on being more diverse, so it’s a little easier than in the 90s. Below are three links to different options. I chose career-based Barbies because as a mom to a young girl, I want her to see women in different careers.

Pediatrician Barbie

Nurse Barbie

Robotics Engineer Barbie

Dolls

Looking for some dolls for your child’s doll house? Hape makes different family sets, plus they have cute doll houses if you’re looking for one of those, too!

Hape Wooden Doll Family

If you’re thinking about picking up a baby doll, consider buying one of a different ethnicity. There are far too many blonde Caucasian baby dolls out there, but there typically are other options available. At Target, for instance, I’ve been able to find African American baby dolls easily. On Amazon, I found a baby doll you can purchase in four different ethnicities. Find it here.

TV and Movie Charactions

As TV continues to become more diverse, you can find more toys that remind kids of their favorite shows and continue to let it sink into their subconscious that we live in a multicultural world. Here are some Amazon links for some favorite characters:

Nella the Princess Knight

Miss Elaina

Elena of Avalor

Pru from Spirit Riding Free

Go Diego Go

Dora the Explorer

Doc McStuffins

Books

Books are another way to educate kids without explicity saying things. Having picture books with diverse characters is just as important as having a variety of toys. I found a great list of picture books on Imagination Soup.

Hopefully this list is helpful! Toys are such an easy way to introduce diversity to young kids. Happy shopping!

My Most Used Play Therapy Toys

Happy, what I am now calling, Mental Health Monday! I’m hoping to post things mental-health related on Mondays. Keep up with my new posts by subscribing, following on insta (littlecityliving.jenny) or facebook (Little City Living).

If you are not aware, I work full-time as a therapist. I work with all ages, but I would say more than half of my case load are children and adolescents. I contract with an agency that does community-based therapy, which basically means that instead of doing traditional outpatient therapy in an office, I meet with individuals in their homes, schools and local communities.

I attended a training earlier this year and the trainer commented that she’s a minimalist therapist, so while she does outpatient therapy, she tries to not have her office overloaded with toys and options. This got me thinking, because my car used to be FULL of stuff. It was always unorganized and messy. But I felt like I never knew what I would need for a session, so I felt like I had to have all of that stuff.

Since this training, I’ve been trying to A) keep my car clean and B) carry less stuff. Since trying this out, I realized there are some things I use ALL THE TIME and some things that I only sometimes pull out. Here are my 10 most used items.

Paper and Markers – sorry to start so simple, but I think you could get away with only every using paper and markers if you needed to. So verstile. And pretty travel friendly. I used to carry a big bag of markers and sheets and sheets of paper, but I’ve narrowed it down to a small pencil case and a folder of paper (white and then colored pieces). In the pencil case I also have a pair of scissors and a glue stick.
Magnetiles – I use these all the time. Kids built castles, houses, rocketships, etc. and seemlessly incorporate them into play. It’s great for imaginative play therapy, but also motor skills, critical thinking, problem solving… they’re great. And kids love them. They are a little expensive but I think they’re worth it. https://www.amazon.com/PicassoTiles-Construction-Inspirational-Recreational-Conventional/dp/B00AU56C5W/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=magnetiles&qid=1560738617&s=gateway&sr=8-3
Clip Connects – These are in the same area as magnetiles, but I feel kids can make more than structures out of them. I also do an eye movement therapy called Brainspotting and the kids will often make a pointer out of the clip connects for us to use that session. https://www.amazon.com/Diameter-Interlocking-Building-Educational-Preschool/dp/B01AS96JKC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=H567423GH7L2&keywords=clip+connect+100+pieces&qid=1560738585&s=gateway&sprefix=clip+connect%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-2
Finger Puppets – Perfect for telling stories and acting things out. I love hearing the stories kids come up with when we play with these. Plus – they take up almost no space! I got a bunch from Target’s dollar spot once and they’ve lasted a long time.
Beanie Babies – As a former 90s kid, I’m personally fond of Beanie Babies. As a therapist, I love using them because they’re cute and come in almost any animal you could dream of. They also have some more traditional “scary” ones, such as a spider, lion, alligator, and a dragon. Bonus – they are so cheap to pick up at thrift stores. Most of mine I paid under a dollar for. I have a pretty large collection and just switch out the animals every so often to keep things fresh.
Weighted Blanket – This isn’t something I keep in my car, but I would always have it out if I worked in an office. I offer the weighted blanket if I am working with someone who has a lot of anxiety, has difficulty staying grounded, dissociates, or we’re heading into some difficult trauma work and they could use the extra support. I got mine from Amazon.
Emotion Stress Balls – I love these little guys and use them A LOT. Kids sometimes are not great at expressing what emotion they’re feeling, but they can pick it out of needed. Also, they’re small and perfect for traveling. https://www.amazon.com/EMOJI-Stress-Squeeze-Release-Colors/dp/B071KZR4Q1/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3HVNRJHTKM114&keywords=emotion+stress+ball&qid=1560737997&s=gateway&sprefix=emotion+stress+%2Caps%2C166&sr=8-4
Board Games – The number one game people want to play, in my experience? Life. Followed closely by Candy Land. SO MANY TEENS WANT TO PLAY CANDY LAND. Don’t underestimate it.
Expanding Ball – I don’t know what else to call it, but this ball/fidget gets a lot of use. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000E6I1F/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?smid=A3GKW1NPRUQQQQ&psc=1
My Brainspotting Bag – Since it’s a therapeutic tool I use a lot, I decided I had to mention my brainspotting bag, which includes my pointer and headphones.

BONUS – some of my favorite games to play with kids in session need nothing: Simon Says, Follow the Leader, Red Light Green Light, Slow Motion…. etc.

What do you use in session? Tell me in the comments! I love getting new ideas and would love to hear yours!

Riding T H R E E: A Spirit-themed Birthday

My *not quite yet* three year old daughter has been saying for MONTHS (literally, I think she started talking about this during Christmas time) that she wanted a Spirit birthday party. She is obsessed with the show Spirit Riding Free on Netflix. Actually, it’s a cute show and my husband likes it too.

When April rolled around I figured I would be able to go to Party City and buy a bunch of cute Spirit stuff. NOPE. They had nothing. I looked on Amazon and was able to find a few things, in addition to a Target score and buying her shirt on Etsy.

We went with a campfire/out on the ranch theme for food, which worked well because it’s a kids party and hot dogs are the perfect kids party food.

Horse Treats: Apples and Carrots

The Berry Patch: Strawberries, Blackberries, Raspberries and Blueberries

Out on the Ranch Chips and Dip

Smores Mix: Popcorn, Honey Teddy Grahms, Mini Marshmellows, Chocolate Chips and Chocolate Drizzle

Campfire Dogs

The Watering Hole: Fruit Punch

The cake was from a local bakery called Neat-Os. I bought the cake topper from Target and used one of Emmeline’s Spirit toys on top.

As the theme song says, “As long as I am here with you, I feel the spirit within me.”

xoxo,
Jenny

Let’s Stop Saying “Sleep Through The Night”

When my husband and I were preparing for the birth of our daughter, something we both understood is that we would be sleep deprived for a little while. Looking back, I realize how naive we were that our daughter would eventually start sleeping through the night, and then that would be that. So, when she was about two and half months and suddenly started sleeping through the night, every night, I was relieved. I thought, wow.. we made it! That wasn’t so bad.

I was so unbelievably wrong.

Around four months, Emmeline started waking up every half hour to an hour. This lasted for five entire months. It started to improve around nine months and has slowly gotten better ever since. She’s almost three, and while there have been bouts of regressions and bad nights, she usually only wakes once per night. On the rare occasion, and I can count them on one hand in the past year, she will actually sleep through the night.

Being a full-time working mom, this sleep schedule has been rough on me. During months four through nine, I was asked almost constantly by family, friends, coworkers that famous question: “Is she sleeping through the night yet?” Sometimes, I would just straight out lie, because the second I said no and that we were co-sleeping, I got unsolicited advice that we needed to stop co-sleeping and sleep train.

(Now if sleep training is for you, that’s fine, but it never seemed like a good fit for our family. I also don’t feel convinced that it helps with secure attachment, so we didn’t do it. My husband and I, to this day, despite still not getting 8 hours a night, believe this was the right decision for us.)

During that blurry first year of motherhood, I realized how annoying the question “is she sleeping through the night yet?” is. I felt constantly like I was doing something wrong. I would read about how most babies sleep through the night between six and nine months (usually in the middle of the night while tending to Emmeline) and, again, this would just make me feel like I was doing something wrong. Every time someone would ask me about her sleeping, it was like a constant reminder that she wasn’t sleeping through the night, and, probably because I have anxiety, would trigger thoughts like I wasn’t doing a good job or there was something wrong.

Eventually, though, I just started to feel like it was no one’s business how she sleeps. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that to expect a small infant to sleep through the night, when I don’t always sleep through the night, is crazy. Once I stopped being fixated on if she was sleeping through the night or not and instead focused on meeting whatever need she was asking for at 3 AM (usually milk), I stopped being so frustrated with myself. I think sleeping through the night is something that is talked about a lot regarding babies, and I really think we need to stop worrying about it. Your child will have good nights and bad nights. That is what makes us all human.

Emmeline will be three in May, and right now, she’s doing pretty good on her sleep. I try to enjoy the nights that go well. I also try to remember on the bad nights that all of this will eventually pass. There will come a time she doesn’t need me in the night, or is too old to co-sleep, and I’ll miss those 3 AM snuggles.

From one sleepy family to another, we see you, and we will all get some sleep soon (right?! right).

xoxo,

Jenny